Travel Maven

The woman traveler – we can step on a plane in the afternoon, and the next morning we are in Amsterdam!

The Woman Traveler, at least historically, has been the stuff of myths. The travel pioneers; those amazing women who defied both their time and their gender to see the world; are a depressingly small society. Even then, most are considered notable for being ‘adventurers’ When we take away the pilots, the polar explorers and the mountaineers – well, it is even more depressing.

The Fairer Sex

The notion that women are somehow less capable of the rigors of travel is understandable when you go back 100 or more years ago. The days when going anywhere was a matter of months rather than hours, made it a lot harder.

It both sounds more glamorous and frightfully tedious. The notion of steamer trunks filled with everything the modern woman needed to survive a ‘Grand Tour’ of the continent makes my head hurt. I see the parasols to protect from the sun, the heavy skirts, the uncomfortable shoes and the idea that we just weren’t built for such rigorous activities.

Men were hearty, women were frail; and honestly 200 some odd years later, we are still the fairer sex. Travel is hard and it is exhausting. In the eyes of many, it is downright dangerous to the single woman traveler.

Woman Traveler Archetype

Yes, archetype; it’s a big word but sadly we have two for the woman traveler.

Again, we have the adventurer who dresses in a manly fashion and defies the norms. She is driven to be in a man’s world. Think of Amelia Earhart or Bessie Colman; women who dared to step into the man’s world of aviation. In fact, the Women Traveler has a lot of pilots in the club; I suspect because they treasured those moments alone in their planes, no one to nag at them about what they were supposed to be doing.

Then there is the somewhat eccentric older woman who travels once freed from the bounds of familial or societal restraints. Isabella Bird -a personal hero – is a great example. Freya Stark, the ‘passionate nomad’ is another. Neither woman traveled alone until they reached the ripe old age of 40 (37 in Freya’s case.)

The Modern Woman Traveler

What can we learn from these two archetypes? For me, it is the notion that if you want to see the world in any meaningful way, you can’t wait for permission. You also can’t wait for others to agree to go with you. In fact, you are probably going to have to do it on your own. In other words, not a lot has changed in that respect.

All of these famous women travelers were considered crazy because they largely traveled on their own terms and that generally meant going solo.

Today, there is still a lot of incredulity at the woman who travels alone. I encounter it a lot, the amazement that I would go to anywhere by myself. Yet the dangers and pitfalls that a single woman traveler might encounter are far more benign than when Dame Freya was wandering the Middle East, or Ms. Bird was exploring the American Rockies.

We can step on a plane in the afternoon and arrive halfway around the world the next morning. The sight of a woman walking the streets of a city without a chaperone, spouse, or some other companion is not unusual. Rarely is a woman out by herself given even a second look.

Braving the World at any Age

I know that part of what inspires me about these women is their age. Freya Stark went to Spain at age 93. Isabella Bird made her last trip at age 70, to Morocco and died shortly after returning at age 74. For a woman who battled a number of medical issues through her life, that isn’t a bad run.

Being fifty or sixty or seventy – or older – isn’t the barrier. It is our self-imposed limitations that keep us from spreading our wings. I expect to be planning a trip – or better yet – be on one, when I shuffle off this mortal coil.

Too much of what is out there in the way of information for the woman traveler is geared to the twenty something, or the gap-year student. There is a lot of information for the ‘let’s see the world before we settle down and have children’ set. But when it comes to the woman traveler who had already had the family and the successful career? There isn’t much.

It doesn’t mean it shouldn’t or can’t be done.

Badge of Honor

I beat this drum a lot, talking about why women should travel. So many women shake their heads when I talk of where I have been, and honestly, I have just scratched the surface of what I want to see. I am not a great adventurer. It would be a bit of a stretch to call me even a seasoned traveler.

Being a woman traveler is a badge of honor and one I mean to claim for myself. I have met some amazing folks who didn’t let anything get in their way of seeing the world. My goal is to be one of them.

I think of the two ladies in Croatia, both in their mid-60’s who had been traveling together for close to twenty years. Their husbands hated travel, but it didn’t stop these two. They found in each other a kindred spirit and a curiosity about the world. So they traveled. (notice that they were both in their 40’s when they started!)

There is the lovely woman I met on a train to Prague who was on a temporary assignment in Krakow. She spent her weekends exploring the surrounding countries, on her own. The stories are legion, as we seem to know each other. Woman travelers recognize one another when we are on the road, or so it would appear.

Maybe it is that badge of honor, one that can be seen only by like souls. As I write this I realize that it is a badge that isn’t given out, but rather is claimed. We should all be reaching for it.

Language barriers - the Golden Tiger Pilsner Brewery in Prague

Language Barriers – the sign for the Golden Tiger in Prague. (literal translation – Pilsner Brewery at the Golden Tiger”

Language barriers can feel as real as any brick wall. How will I manage Berlin if I don’t speak German? Will I be shunned in Paris if I don’t speak French? I would love to go to Spain, but I don’t remember any of my high school Spanish.

There are apparently lots of horror stories about language gaffes. Moments of irredeemable shame that keep us looking at pictures of places rather than being there and taking them ourselves. The very thought of not being able to speak the language keeps us at home.

Communication: A Human Desire

We want to communicate. As humans we have an innate need to communicate. As a result, few things are more frustrating than not being able to do so. How can we even begin to make a connection if we can’t even get the basics across? Language barriers stands between us and information, and that is daunting.

The thought of having to mime our way to a hotel room is both funny and somewhat scary. You might look silly or worse, you might be misunderstood.

Menus become mine fields (and fodder for far too many B-movie plots) if you have no idea what you ordering. That steak you thought you ordered turns out to be pickled chicken toes.

There are the even more deep-seated fears of being in some sort of trouble. The fear of being injured or lost looms a lot larger if we can’t ask for help or tell someone where it hurts!

Sparkling or Still… what?

My brother Erik has one of the best stories of climbing over a language barrier. It took place in London. Yes, London. Where they speak English, right? Well, a version of it.

It started out as the most mundane of experiences. His first full day in London, happy, excited to be there, taking in all of the new and wonderful sights. Lunch time rolls around and he wanted a sandwich. How hard could it be?

First he had to get around some of the – to him – odder choices. Cheese and pickle? Not so much Roast beef, a wonderfully cross cultural concoction, was his choice. So he ordered: A roast beef sandwich and water.

Sparkling or still? Erik was lost. Sparkling or still what? It took him a moment to even figure out the words. The woman behind the counter repeated her question, sparkling or still?

That moment of ‘aaaggghhh’ set in; the one that our brain shifts into when we are confronted with something that we know we should understand, but we for some reason we don’t seem able to understand. She asks a third time.

People in line behind him are getting impatient and he can hear the comments. Americans, always causing problems! Sigh. Never occurs to anyone to help, does it? At least it felt that way in the moment.

Erik just blurts out ‘still’ because it feels like the safer choice. He was rewarded with a bottle of water. Hooray! Gathering his sandwich and his water, he heads to a table relieved that the ordeal is over.

Imagination vs.. Reality

I would have been sure that the folks in line behind me were staring daggers at me as they left the shop, but Erik is much less worried about such things.

Yes, the people in line were frustrated. It was lunch time, they were in a hurry. It had very little to do with Erik personally and everything to do with the time of day and the number of people working in the shop.

Too often we inflate the situation in our heads. These people hate me! They think I’m an idiot! I have been in situations where I just want to gather my courage and run out of the place. Odds are that no matter how good that sandwich was, I would have avoided ever going back.

The reality is that once they got their own lunch, no one cared. Erik was forgotten the moment they had what they wanted. Even if he wasn’t, what does it matter? Someone has a story for their friends that evening about the guy who didn’t know what sparkling or still meant, hilarity ensues and they are on to something else..

Climbing Language Barriers

Knowing a little of the local lingo goes a long way to getting over that wall. Learn the ‘polite’ words at a minimum. These are the basics – hello, good-bye, please, and thank you. Those go a long way.

If you are feeling ambitious, expand those a little. Add good morning, how are you, and any other nicety you think you can remember.

Now challenge yourself a bit. Grab something like Duolingo or the tourist oriented BBC Languages and learn a few handy phrases. Arm yourself with a few good climbing tools for getting over those language barriers!

Every word or phrase you learn is going to help you climb the language barrier, but not for the reason you might think. It isn’t that you are fluent or will be thought fluent, it’s that you made the attempt to communicate! You will be amazed at what trying will get you.

A Spanish Teacher in Segovia

I have my own story about language barriers. In Segovia at a lovely little bookstore Liberbodega Andres, I ran into my own wall.

I wanted a book for my Dad, who was fluent in Spanish. The owner of the store pushed me to try my own limited Spanish. He told me that he spoke very little English, so I floundered about explaining that I wanted a book – history or literature – for my Dad.

By the time I left the store I had managed to have an actual conversation with this lovely gentleman. He was a retired Spanish teacher. My father was a retired English teacher. A bonding point for us!

I learned a bit about the proprietor and his wife, but more importantly I realized that I knew more Spanish than I thought. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t grammatically perfect, or if I stumbled over words. The fact that I tried – really tried – turned into my own wonderful memory.

Imagine what I would have missed if I had gone with my first instinct to bolt. If I had let my fear of looking silly or sounding stupid get the better of me, I wouldn’t have had the moment, and it is a moment I cherish. All because I was willing to get out the spikes and the ropes and climb up the language barrier.

You Get Through

Look, even in English-speaking countries you are bound to run headlong into language barriers. It is almost always frustrating and yes it can be embarrassing. I’ve seen people get angry and ugly over it.

Don’t be that person. Instead, take a deep breath, and plunge a head. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; whether that be repeating the question or asking for an explanation. Forget about the person, or people behind you. If you can, you might even enlist their help!

Trust me, you get through it. You improvise a sign language, you smile a lot, laugh a little at yourself. You get through and you get a great story for later. The time when you made the entire store laugh because you had no idea that word meant…

Gardens of the Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière, Lyon France

Hidden garden below the Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière, Lyon France

In Lyon, France a stunning white basilica sits high up on a hill overlooking the city. You can see it from most anywhere in town, but what you can’t see is a hidden gem that sits just below it.

In truth, there are many little hidden places to discover in France’s “Second City.” There are the passage ways or traboules that once served as a way move wares more easily to market.

And like any city that has grown up over time, you will stumble upon lovely squares or parks as you wind through the narrow streets.

Funicular, Funicular

The Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière is huge, with an impressive array of towers and high, arching windows. At night it is illuminated by a sea of lights that make the church appear to float on the hilltop. (Lyon is the city of lights, after all.)

It is accessed from the lower reaches of the city by either some fairly intimidating stairs or the popular funicular that lumbers up the hillside from the old town below. On my second day in Lyon, it was clear that I was going to get up that hill.

After contemplating the route on a map, I wimped out and chose the funicular. The line to Fourviere was out of service, so I ended up heading to Saint-Just. The cars are small and square, and mostly you are in a tunnel. Honestly, it is not a terribly exciting trip.

Still it is a fun word to say, and I had never been on a funicular before. There was something charming about the blunt little cars that run up and down the hill, and even on the weekend they were crowded with locals. It made me feel like a Lyonnaise, just for a moment.

Romans in Lyon

Arriving in Saint-Just meant I had a bit of a walk ahead of me. I don’t mind walks, especially in new cities. This walk in particular was wonderful. There was so much around me. Fragments of ancient walls, large villas, banks of apartments, cascading gardens; it was a treat for the eyes.

It was a gorgeous day, one that was tailor-made for wandering. I found myself in front of a museum called the Musee Gallo-Roman. Since I am a history geek, I had check it out. It is dedicated to the excavation of both a Roman amphitheater and odeon which sit next to one another.

I sat for a moment on one of the stone benches of the amphitheater. It is still in use, it seems as a group of young players were practicing for a play that was opening at the weekend. It was another ‘wave of history’ moments, as thought about all the people who had sat there – from Roman times to modern.

How many? Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, over the years had sat there on that hillside and enjoyed (or not) some entertainment. It was a stupefying.

The Basilica

Finally I found my way to my gleaming white Basilica. The basilica is really two churches stacked on each other, and if I thought it imposing from a distance, up close it is even more daunting.

Two large towers frame the building. A grand set of stairs is topped by three arches and a determined looking lion looks out from the top of the lower church. It is hard to describe in a way that does it justice.

That day a couple of bus loads of religious tourists were descending just as I arrived. I should have been irritated, but it was okay. The church seemed to swallow us all with room to spare. I wandered and gawked; chatted with a couple of people and felt that I needed at least a week to go through the entire place. It was just that overwhelming.

When it came time to head back towards the old town, I decided to walk down the hill even though it was a little intimidating. You see, I had been told that there were beautiful gardens below the church that were worth the walk.

A Hidden Garden

As I mentioned, the day was gorgeous, if a bit on the warm side (hey, I’m from the desert, I can cope – sometimes). All the pavement that comes with city life was reflecting back all that sunshine and heat, and honestly, I wasn’t at all sure this was going to be a good idea.

Then, the path dipped below the bluff where the church sits and suddenly I found myself in this cool, green, enchanting place. It really was like stepping into a different world. The noise of Lyon – all cities are a bit noisy – the crowds of tourists and pilgrims, the heat and the black and white world of pavement and roads – it just disappeared.

I spent some time in this beautiful garden. After a moment, I took a seat on one of the inviting benches, contemplating the sculpture and just enjoying the peacefulness of the place. I live for moments like that, when you feel taken out of time and the minutes seem to stretch out into blissful hours.

From time to time another human would wander into the space. We would smile at one another because we were fellow travelers in this little green world.

Lyon was somewhere out there – above me, below me. But for that moment, for that little stretch of time, I was in my own little paradise. One that existed in the locality called Lyon on all the maps, but was completely separate.

Finally, after an indeterminate amount of time, I pulled myself away. Slowly I emerged – literally descended – from this gem of a garden, but the effects of that visit stayed with me for a long, long time. I even dreamed about it that night.

A Memory of a Moment

Even now I can just look at this picture and for a brief minute of time, I am back there. I can smell the warm green foliage, I can feel the kiss of the breeze that blew through, I can hear the muted silence of the world beyond.

France’s second city won my heart in many ways, but this garden holds a special place in there. This why we travel, to be wooed and won by moments and by places. By gardens, by buildings, by vistas of stunning beauty and quiet spaces that let us turn off the chatter in our brains.

You see them at airports, hotels, really anywhere there are travelers. The Travel Pro; that person who just seems to have it all together. They always stand out, at least they do to me.

While you are struggling to get everything into the bin at TSA, they’ve breezed through without a care in the world. As you are trying to force your bag into the overhead bin, they look as though they’ve been on the plane for an hour. When you are sorting through every last thing in your purse to find that confirmation number, they are well on their way to their room (and probably have a drink waiting!)

The travel pro is always the one who isn’t stressing out, no matter the situation. The rest of us want to be that person, or at least I know I always did. Actually, I still do

Travel Pro

I have never claimed to be a Travel Pro, but I have made a study of their habits in hopes of attaining that zen-like quality they always seem to have.

It started when I was still working for a small airline. I saw these folks all the time. They never seem harried, and rarely seem hurried. You never saw them running for the plane, and you never saw them get ruffled at delays.

As I began to watch them, I began to notice that they all seemed to have a few basic habits in common. When I put them into practice myself, I found a little bit of that zen they seem to carry with them. Over the years I have refined that list to a few simple habits. When I put them into practice, I began to feel like I could one day be one of those few enlightened souls.

Let me share what I have learned!

Habit One: Plan in Extra Time

My Dad used to insist that we get to the airport hours before we needed to. It made me crazy. One of my travel friends was chronically late, and it, well, made me crazy. There is, thankfully, a happy medium. The downside is that it varies from place to place, situation to situation.

A travel pro understands this and pays attention to peak travel times and is aware of how much time they need. It is easy when you travel a lot, you just learn this stuff. Thankfully, for the rest of us, there some easy tools to help figure it all out.

Most airports in the US will have a link to TSA wait times, or you can download the TSA app. That way you won’t be surprised by the 2 hour wait time to get through security. Your airline’s website – or better yet, their mobile app – will keep you informed of delays.

Understand what all needs to be done before you get to the gate. Checking bags or reprinting boarding passes can be time sinks. When possible, print your boarding pass at home, or better yet, download it to your smart phone. Utilize curbside bag check if the line looks shorter. If you are unable to do any of that ahead of time, know that you will need to get to the airport a bit earlier.

Connections and Events

If you are connecting to another flight, especially if you are switching to a different airline, check the connecting airport to gauge the distance between the gates. Forty five minutes might be plenty of time in one airport, but woefully short for another.

Additionally, think about when you are arriving. Planes, trains and automobiles can be late. If you absolutely need to be somewhere first thing in the morning give yourself an entire day to get there. I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve listened to from people who have missed cruises, appointments and opportunities because they booked flights too close to the time they needed to be somewhere.

Habit Two: Pack Smartly

A travel pro knows that less is more when it comes to packing! Most people I know have a tendency to pack too much stuff. Think about your trip and pack for what you will actually need rather than just throwing things into your bag. For every item you put in your case or carry on ask if you really need it.

Think about the clothes you pack in terms of outfits. Everything top you pack should work with every bottom so you have more outfits and less clothes. Use accessories to dress up an outfit. For both men and women, a jacket will make even jeans a bit classier, for women a scarf can do the same thing.

Remember that you will need to lug, drag, pull or carry that suitcase wherever you are going. The heavier the bag the harder it will be. As someone who dragged a rolling bag halfway across Paris (or so it felt), I can tell you that the best rolling bag is still exhausting when it is weighed down.

Worse still, some budget airlines enforce rules that require you to lift your carry on into the overhead bin without assistance. And in this age of travel fees, over weight charges are less often waived.

And About Your Carry On

Every airline now restricts you to one suitcase and a “personal item.” That second item should contain anything you will need in flight or immediately after arrival. Everything else should go in your suitcase or checked bag.

That bag has to fit under the seat, and for every inch it takes up, you lose foot space. Packing that extra outfit or one more pair of shoes, or whatever it is you couldn’t fit into your suitcase just adds to the on board anxiety. The smaller and smarter your carry on is, the more room you have and the less onerous it is to lug along with your suitcase!

Warning: if you are checking a bag, remember to never check anything that you can’t do without for the next 48 hours – prescription medications, chargers for your electronic devices, presentation materials (if you are traveling on business). Always plan for the possibility that you may not have access to your checked items for an extended period of time – such as flight delays or lost luggage.

Habit Three: Information at Your Fingertips

We all walk around with these little hand-held computers, so make them work for you when you travel. Things happen – weather, mechanical issues, delays and cancellations. Information is your friend.

You should always program in the phone numbers for your airline’s customer service line, your hotel, and any other travel service you will be using (car rental, car hire, etc.). If you have frequent flier status, make sure you have that phone number and your member number as well.

If your flight is delayed or cancelled, you will often have better luck using the customer service number to get help rather than having to wait in line for your turn with the stressed out gate agent.

Better idea – get an app that organizes it all for you, such as TripIt. This app will let you put as much information as you want into your itinerary, store all your traveler profile information (frequent flier numbers!), and your confirmation numbers all in one place.

Habit Four – Patience

Travel can be stressful and tedious. Getting upset doesn’t help anything. The plane won’t be fixed more quickly; the bed won’t magically make itself just because you are upset.

Not to mention it just makes your experience that much worse! Being the calm and pleasant person will also make folks more likely to want to help you. My dad had a great story about getting upgraded to business class. He simply commiserated with a gate agent right after the person ahead of him was a complete jerk. You may not get upgraded, but you will be appreciated!

And that leads me to:

Habit Five – Attitude

A travel pro gets that the cabin attendants, gate agents, valet parkers, hotel desk clerks and housekeeping staff are professionals. They treat these folks with respect. It is surprising what just being pleasant will do for you.

I don’t mean you have to put up with poor service, but you should treat all of these folks with the same respect you wish to receive in return. The same goes for wait staff, store clerks – really anyone you meet on your travels.

Above all, remember that this is supposed to be fun! You are going someplace wonderful, maybe someplace you’ve always wanted to go. Try to enjoy the journey as well as the destination!

A Canal in Bruges – impossibly romantic!

“Go to Bruges.” I can still hear him saying it. “Promise me you will go to Bruges.” He called it an impossibly romantic place, and painted a picture that I can still see when I recall it.

How do you say no to that? Roger was my travel guru and if he said, go, I was going. So it was that on my second trip to Europe I stepped way outside my comfort zone and went to a place I hadn’t heard of a cant two years earlier.

Bruges Lace

My first task was learning about the place. This lovely little gem was a hub of commerce in the 15th and 16th centuries. Known for tapestries, textiles and the “Flemish School” of oil painting.

Then there is the lace. Bruges lace was – and is – considered some of the finest in the world. There is even a museum dedicated to lace that is well worth a visit.

When I think of lace, I am generally picturing a strip of lace that is an accent. In Bruges I saw lace collars and shawls and christening dress, and by that I mean entire garments made of lace. The workmanship is amazing, considering that these pieces were made by hand using hundreds of bobbins. They are stunning.

Michelangelo is Here

During his lifetime, only one piece of Michelangelo’s work ever left Italy. It went to Bruges. This alone speaks volumes about the economic and cultural significance of the town.

The piece is known as the Madonna of Bruges and it resides in Our Lady of Bruges. It is a stunning piece, and when I visited, there was a significant line to see it. When you go, spend a little time in the church. There are many other beautiful pieces and interesting relics in this pretty church.

Sometimes the weight of history, as my father referred to it, hits me when I travel. Standing in front of a Michelangelo in this pretty church was one of those. The thought of the good burghers of Bruges commissioning this sculpture, the time and trouble it must have taken to get it from Italy to this northern city, and the fanfare that must have met its arrival seemed to knock me on the head.

This was a big deal. The wealth and importance it leant the city was immense. The sculpture didn’t put Bruges on the map, but it certainly secured the pin on that map. This wasn’t just a Michelangelo I was admiring, I was looking at a powerful symbol of all that Bruges was and still is.

Canals and Swans

So yes, there are some amazing things to see in this city, and yet for me the real treasure was wandering along the canals. Bruges was a seaport – now cut off from the sea – and like most of the region it is at sea level. As a result there are canals.

The canals of Bruges tend to be narrow, winding routes crossed by pretty bridges and lined with stone buildings or abundant gardens. Swans gracefully glide along the canals with that attitude that swans have. Swans and cats seem to believe this is their world and the rest of us are just visiting.

These beautiful and somewhat cantankerous birds are beloved, and the City charter mandates that at least 100 live in the city. I had a wonderful moment standing near a bridge on a quiet road. A group of 4 or 5 swans paddled silently up, paused a moment to eye the woman gawking at them, and deciding I was worthy, swam off just as silently.

I nearly laughed out loud. Without a doubt, it was one of the most thorough judgements I have ever undergone. After that moment, when I ran into another bird committee, I made sure to pay my respects. Talking to birds is something I do, I just realized; why should the Swans of Bruges be any different.

Chocolate!

Let’s get to the really important stuff. Bruges may have lace and world-famous sculptures and swans; but let’s face it; chocolate is the real treasure in this town!

Let’s start with the chocolate. I heard tales about the chocolate from Roger and another traveling friend. On the main street I passed a half dozen shops that purported to carry the best chocolate in Bruges.

I, however, was on a mission. My intelligence gathering pointed to one place – Chocolatier Dumon. In a squat brick building on the Eiermarkt I found some of the best chocolate I have ever tasted. This is life changing chocolate.

There are molded chocolates – a full chess set made of both dark and white chocolates was on display – as well as mind melting truffles. One could happily overdose on chocolate here. I know I nearly did! To this day I tell people about Bruges, mention Dumon and slyly hope that they might bring me a little bag of chocolate. After all, I brought chocolate back to my informants!

Bruges gets Personal

Roger made me promise to go. He died a few weeks later. That year I lost several people, I still refer to it as the year everyone died. My nephew, Roger, my grandmother, my cat, my mentor Molly (who kept me from walking away from finishing my Communications degree on several occasions) and two other friends died in a span from February to September.

It was my last visit to Roger, a formerly robust man who had been a river guide, a tech entrepreneur, and a locksmith was a shadow of his former self. Melanoma was sapping his life before my eyes. It was hard at first, but Roger was still there. The adventurer I had come to admire was still in his eyes.

“Go to Bruges.” he told me. Not next year, not someday, go as soon as you possibly can; that was his advice. “Look at me KK. You don’t know if next year is going to come.” Those words haunted me. They still haunt me.

On my last full day in Bruges I stepped into the Cathedral. I am not a Catholic in the true sense of the word, but I have always found a sense of comfort there; it is the rituals, I suspect. Still – I stepped out of the heat of that August day into the cool and dark interior.

It was nearly empty and I was glad for it. I went to the votive candle rack and dutifully plunked two euro coins in the box. There were two unlit candles – just two – on the rack, and they sat next to each other. I lit them both.

The first was for Roger, who brought me to this impossibly romantic place. It was a prayer of thanks for pushing me to follow my dreams and travel. The other was for my nephew, who wanted so desperately to see the world, but never got the chance.

I was given this opportunity to see the world, pushed into it by a friend who had seen his own fair share of it. I am forever thankful for his words. Go to Bruges. Wherever your Bruges may be.

Doing nothing - buskers on break in Paris

The Art of Doing Nothing Perfected: Buskers enjoying a break on the Pont Neuf, Paris

Doing nothing, adding nothing to the GDP, no meetings, no quick phone calls (that are never quick); that is what vacation should be. Make no mistake; it is harder than it sounds. We have turned taking vacations into a lite version of work.

We cram as much as we can into every minute of our time off. Spreadsheets are created for our activities; to-do lists become must-see lists, and for some we even squeeze in actual work while we are on paid vacation.

We need to learn to do nothing.

By doing nothing I mean anything from well, actually doing nothing – sitting in a cafe, sipping a drink and watching the world go by – to doing things that are not work related. We need, actually need, time to do nothing.

The Business of Vacations

First we need to actually take the vacation time we have earned. There is always a reason to postpone a vacation. There is a project that needs to be finished, a meeting that can’t be rescheduled or some conference that we have to attend. We worry so much about what will happen if we leave for a week, let alone two, that we just never let go.

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

Not long ago, a woman told me that she uses her accrued vacation to take three-day weekends throughout the year. Yes, of course she would love to take some extended time off, but it is just too hard. There is all the work you have to do before you leave, and then all the work you have to do when you get back just to catch up! Besides, knowing all that? It just makes it impossible to relax.

Ironically, the very strategy she is employing to find a little down time will keep her from ever disconnecting. I hear this song, or variations of it, a lot. As a society, the majority of us suck at doing nothing.

The Lost Art of Relaxation

Taking a vacation seems to have become a lost art. We all need to unplug from the business of business on a regular basis, we all need to recharge. Studies show that we are more productive when we have time to relax and recharge.

Heck, even when we do take a vacation, we have a tendency to cram as much as we possibly can into that short time! I think of an old teacher of mine, a noted curmudgeon and generally wonderful man. On a high school trip with my senior class, a group of boys were in a water gun fight. He yelled at them “We don’t have time for fun! We have a schedule to keep!”

It was funny at the time, but the words come back to me when I look at how most of my friends and clients approach vacation. I look at these trips and see a marked lack of fun in favor of rigid schedules to keep.

When did we lose our ability to just let go and relax? Even when the vacation calls for some beach resort, most of us have a tendency to adhere to a schedule that marks out when we will take a tour, when we will eat dinner, when we can spend time on the beach. It is one reason package tours are so popular; they do all the planning for you and provide you with someone to herd you.

There is little time to have fun, there is a schedule to keep.

In the end we come back home and half heartedly joke about needing a vacation to recover from our vacation. Consider the alternative – instead of packing in lots of things to do, think about having some time to do nothing. Let me explain.

Doing Nothing On Your Own Terms

What “doing nothing” means will differ from person to person. For example I get bored really fast, so lounging on a beach isn’t for me. Even with a good book I am going to last about an hour, tops. That’s just me; I know folks who are more sigh longingly at the thought of hanging out by the water all day long, book or no book.

My idea of doing nothing is meandering through the streets of some new town. I love to wander somewhat aimlessly to see what I can find. I have been rewarded with fun little shops, unexpected peaceful courtyards, funny scenes, and spectacular views. On occasion I have met interesting people and had some pretty great conversations.

Doing nothing can also be sitting in a café with a cold drink, people watching. A friend of mine defines doing nothing as planting her happy butt on one of those ‘hop on/hop off tours’ for half a day. She calls it low energy sightseeing. For the price of a ticket she gets to ride around taking in the city.

What all of these have in common, is the notion of letting go. They all put aside schedules and lists in favor of the unhurried moments.

The Pay off

You might be skeptical about all of this. I understand; you paid a lot of money and spent a lot of time planning for this trip! Squeezing as much into as you can, seems like a better return on investment than sitting in a café sipping wine.

Doing nothing isn’t wasting time, it is taking time to relax and enjoy just being where you are. Imagine for a minute finally feeling relaxed. Few things are as exquisite as those moments in which all the cares of the world seem to disappear. That is what you gain, that is the payoff. It is more than worth the price of that plane ticket.

Take the vacation, and take the time to be on the vacation. You might just be surprised at what doing nothing will do for your soul.

Travel inspiration, we all need a little now and again. Inspiration can help break the log jam of where to go, or when to go, or even IF to go. I have found that there are some movies that make me want to book the next trip.

They don’t have to be classics, sometimes they don’t even have to be that good. Really all they need to do is have a lot of gorgeous scenery of a place you want to go. There are a couple of go-to movies that always put me in the mood. I thought I would share them here.

My First Travel Inspiration Movie

The Quiet Man. This classic was the first movie that really made me want to go somewhere. In fact, it made me want to go to Ireland. No, that’s not strictly true. This movie made me want to move to Ireland.

A lovely movie about a man (John Wayne!) who returns to his homeland and falls in love. He falls in love with Maureen O’Hara; really, how could he not? He also falls in love with the country.

Even in black and white, the Irish countryside is lovely. Picturesque thatched roof cottages, low stone walls, and long shots of gently rolling fields fill the frames of this movie. Add to this a cast of characters that are wonderfully quirky; I want to head back to Ireland as soon as the movie is finished.

As travel inspiration it may work too well for me. As I said in my recent post about falling in love with Ireland, this movie gave me some out-sized expectations of the country that were severely tested on my first trip there. However, now that I’ve been there, I find that I love this movie even more. I’ve been there, a little voice says as I watch.

When You Dream of France

There are a lot of movies that can offer travel inspiration if you dream of France. French Kiss is the one that works best for me. Kevin Cline and Meg Ryan take a road trip across the country; it is a romantic comedy that doubles as a travelogue. We see Paris, the gorgeous beaches in the south and take a tour of wine country.

Our hapless heroine manages to grump her way through some beautiful places, from the George V in Paris to the stunning sands of Cannes, she reminds us constantly of her hatred for travel. One of my favorite scenes is Kate (Meg Ryan) walking with Luc (Kevin Kline). She has finally relaxed a bit and is beginning to really see France. Throwing out her arms she says “Beautiful! Wish you were here!” I admit I have used this line on more than one occasion.

In this moment we watch as Kate finally succumbs to the charms of this beautiful country. She finally embraces all the uncertainty and upheaval that has been her impromptu trip and decides to just revel in it. Good lesson for all of us there. Kate allows herself to be transformed by her adventure, as we all become transformed when we stop trying to make a place into our vision of it.

Undiscovered London

Forget Me Not is my travel inspiration movie for London. Before the series Outlander, Tobias Menzies played a musician losing his memory. This lovely little movie starts in a pub and ends up walking us all through London during a long night in which, with the help of a pretty barmaid with higher aspirations, he decides if he should go on or end it all.

This is not light comedy and this is not the usual London we see in movies. We don’t wander through Hyde Park or get sweeping views across Hampstead Heath. No Beefeaters and nary a palace in sight. This is the London people live in rather than the one tourists see.

Along with the two main characters, we walk through Farrington and across Blackfriars Bridge. We stroll along the Southbank, and take a spin on the London Eye. In the meantime there are lots of beauty shots out across London; all glistening and gorgeous.

For the span of this movie, we live in London and this is our experience. We participate in the dance party where everyone is grooving to their own music and we are patrons of a corner pub. This is the movie I watch when I miss London. It meshes nicely with my idea of being a temporary local and it also reminds me of all the things I love about London.

Rome with Audrey Hepburn

I saved the best for last; Roman Holiday. First off, who wouldn’t want to see Rome with Gregory Peck? Who wouldn’t want to discover the joys of Rome with Audrey Hepburn?

This movie is the ultimate travel inspiration movie, in my book. Princess Ann (Audrey Hepburn) longs to just spend a day as a tourist. Her greatest desire is to put aside the responsibilities of her role and have a day that is all hers. Basically she runs away from home and has an amazing adventure.

Every frame of this film is a love letter to Rome. All the big sites are on show, from the Trevi Fountain to the sidewalk cafes, our intrepid pair hit all the spots. You can’t help but want to go to Rome after seeing this movie. There is a reason so many other movies reference this one; it is iconic.

What I love about this movie is that it isn’t just Princess Ann who falls in love with Rome. Her erstwhile tour guide, Joe Bradley (Gregory Peck) who thinks himself terribly jaded and tired of Rome, falls in love with the city he sees through her eyes. The ability to see a city for the first time again is always a gift.

Travel Inspiration Through Film

There are literally thousands of movie that can provide your travel inspiration. Peruse IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes with the destination you long to see and then go find it on your favorite streaming service. Honestly, I even use movies as part of my travel research.

Movies are a great way to get ideas on where to go, even if you already know what country or city you want to visit. Think of them as a test drive for your trip; a way to feel more familiar with a place so it doesn’t seem so strange when you finally get there. Make yourself a promise to go to that place you saw if you need a little motivation to go. Movies can be inspiration and motivation!

What is your favorite destination movie?

A celtic cross rises in the mists - Ireland

A mystical place on a misty day. Is it any wonder I fell in love with Ireland?

Ireland and I got off to a rocky start. It wasn’t love at first sight by any means. There were several moments that I spent wondering if I had made the right choice, if maybe I had romanticized Ireland a bit too much.

You can do that; you can romanticize a place to the point that it can never meet up to your expectations. I know I’m guilty of it.

I had pictured the rolling green countryside, quaint thatched cottages, postcard perfect villages; okay, perhaps I have watched The Quiet Man a few too many times…

Dreams Collide with Reality

My Dad used to say that battle plans never survive first contact with the enemy. The same can be said for travel plans – our perfect plans collide with reality and we have to fall back for a little regrouping.

Ireland, Dublin specifically, was a good example. It started with a very late van. I had booked a self-catered apartment that looked lovely and included a van transfer from the airport to the doorstep.

Two hours standing in a cold drizzle (in June). My calls to the rental agency were met with indifference – hey, the van driver said he’d been by and there was no one at the stop. Persistence paid off and the driver finally showed, contrite. He had gone to the wrong stop.

The apartment was another disappointment. The location was great, in general, the entrance was off an alley that was poorly lit and felt a little sketchy. Inside, the pictures had failed to capture the cracked and worn appearance of the leather furniture, and the last occupant had filled the dishwasher with dirty dishes – but never turned it on.

Never mind that I had left sunny, hot and wonderful France that morning and arrived in cold, wet and less than welcoming Ireland that afternoon. I wanted to sit down and cry, to be honest. In fact, I was ready to throw in the towel and leave.

Dublin Steps Up its Game

Then morning came. Sleep often brings perspective with it! I was up and out of bed early. I had four days in Dublin ahead of me, and I wasn’t going to give up on Ireland without a fight.

By 10 am of that second day I was in the Tourism Office on Grafton Street. I admit that I found the place completely by accident. A happy accident it was, as there were lots helpful people who wanted me to have a good visit. One woman in particular seemed determined to make sure that I had the best visit possible. This is why I love tourism offices; always look for the “TI” signs (traveler’s information), they are pure gold.

Because of this lovely woman, I found a small tour company called “Over the Top Tours” and booked a trip with them for the following day. That was just the beginning! She loaded me up with a map of Dublin and marked some interesting and off the beaten path places to check out. I left the TI with a different attitude.

Soon I found the postcard pretty streets I had dreamed of, I crossed the Ha’penny Bridge like I had always wanted to, I wandered through St. Stephen’s Green and sat in a little coffee shop for some people watching and some truly excellent coffee.

I relaxed and let the day, the place and the people wash over me. Ireland was wooing me, and I was ready to let it!

Day Tripping

The next day sealed the deal. My small group tour (there were 12 of us, if I recall correctly) were whisked into a world I would have missed had I given in to that urge to leave.

I saw an ancient Celtic Cross rising out of a misty field at Monasterboice. This beautiful stone cross, mossy and grand in a picture perfect setting. We visited an iron age tomb that sat in the middle of a field. It was dark and mysterious and I felt that fairy folk must be nearby, watching us.

Then there was the magical moment when I stood on the Hill of Tara all while being regaled with grand stories by our able and affable guide. I still remember his name – Paul. He may be the best guide I’ve ever encountered, his words drawing wonderful pictures of these places.

Putting a Cork in It

I hadn’t planned on where I would go after Dublin. After two tours with Over the Top, I knew I wanted to see more of the country, I just didn’t know where. So back I went to the Tourism office on Grafton Street.

There were options, lots of options. I left with brochures and advice and no clear direction. Ireland may be a small country, but it has a lot to offer. Honestly, I was a little overwhelmed with the choices.

Oddly it was a waiter at the Guinness Brewery and Museum who decided my next destination. An offhand comment about Cork intrigued me. It had to do with beer and a rivalry between Guinness and Murphy’s. Yep, beer was the deciding factor – sort of.

That evening I secured a hotel and a train ticket. I was going to Cork.

There I fell in love all over again. Cork is very different from Dublin. Dublin is business, from financial towers to the business of tourism, Dublin is a bustling metropolis. In contrast, Cork is all about the sea and the land.

It is a big city, but it feels like a small town. From the River Lee to the Loch Mahon, I felt surrounded by water. With that much water, it is small wonder that the town itself is surrounded by farmland.

Ireland, oh Ireland

I wandered and explored, and was never disappointed by what was around the corner. Everywhere I went, I met the loveliest people, had wonderful experiences, heard some great stories and generally never wanted to leave.

What started off on a rocky footing became a full-blown romance. Dublin flirted with me, coquettishly showing me hidden charms. Cork was the bouquet of wildflowers lovingly picked and bundled together – Cobh and Kinsale among the blossoms.

It wasn’t a perfect trip, far from it.

Still, I fell in love with Ireland, with the people and the history and the culture. Even in the rain, even with inconveniences and miscommunications. Despite the unwashed dishes and the terrible couch, I was smitten.

At the end of the day, isn’t that part of being in love? Loving in spite of – or even because of – the imperfections?

Slow travel – stumbling upon the Mercado de San Miguel.

Slow travel; for me it is the art of living the moment of wherever you are. I have often waxed poetic about slow travel, but it took a trip to Madrid for me to really understand it. That beautiful and vibrant city taught me about slowing down in a way no other destination has.

Slow Travel

It started with the notion of ‘slow food.’ This is the antithesis of fast food. The slow food movement talks about respecting the ingredients of the food. Cooks using locally sourced ingredients and respecting that well prepared food should take care and time.

Slow travel respects that it takes time to get to know a destination. Too many package tours race through as many destinations as possible in the time allotted. The tour is in London on Monday, Berlin on Tuesday and Rome on Wednesday.

Okay, small exaggeration; but not by much. Reading some of these itineraries, I get the notion that you are forever checking in and out of hotels, spending a half day here, a full day there. There is no time to just relax and enjoy the trip.

Madrid Time

I had planned five nights in Madrid. It seemed pretty leisurely to me. It was plenty of time to see what I wanted to see, to take the city in and not be rushed.

What I didn’t count on was that Madrid having a very different idea of rushed. Madrid is the very essence of Slow Travel.

It started at the airport. After clearing immigration and finally making my way to baggage claim, I… waited. It was another half hour before the bags arrived for claiming. In the states – or really anywhere else – this would have been cause for civil disturbance. At the very least there would be heavy sighing and pointed looks.

Not in Madrid. People waited patiently, looking at their phones or chatting with each other. Books were pulled out and children amused themselves. When the bags arrived, there was a flurry of quiet industry as luggage was identified and retrieved.

This was my introduction to Madrid time.

Invitations to Linger

Nothing in that city was ever rushed that I noticed. Please don’t assume that I am calling these folks lazy. They are far from it. This is a busy and vibrant city. People work, and work hard. They are busy, but they are not rushed.

There is time to enjoy a coffee and a chat with a coworker in a sunny square. Everywhere there seemed to be an invitation to linger. Tree lined streets and wide plazas beckon you to stroll. There are abundant opportunities to take a seat, to people watch or just to contemplate. I was more than happy to partake.

My first morning, I was stopped cold by the line to get into the Prado. It snaked down stairs, down the sidewalk and around the corner. I have a ‘thing’ about spending vacation time standing in long lines. On the third morning I found myself happily standing in a long line to get into the Reina Sofia Museum. I had finally given in. I had finally given in to the true notion of slow travel.

To my delight, the line moved rather quickly. Even as it did, no one seemed impatient; no one seemed irritated or put out by waiting. Why bother when there were friends to chat with and a sunny morning to enjoy?

The wait for the Sofia Reina more than paid off. The museum gives a lot of depth and context to the works. Most of it is from the last century and they go deep on the political nature of art. That was wonderful and I would have missed it had I again been too impatient.

Throwing Out the Plan

I always like to spend time in a city just wandering. Madrid took this to a new level. I discovered lovely parks and interesting architecture that I would have missed had I not allowed myself to be drawn down streets or through gates.

There is grace in not racing to see as much as possible. The city was crowded with Christmas crowds; Madrid is busy at the holidays and normally that would make me a little crazy. Instead I found myself willing to step out of the bustle, have a hot chocolate and enjoy the scene.

Sure, I didn’t get to see everything I had planned on, then again I never do. My eyes are always bigger than my stomach that way, as my father would have said. Usually I leave a place a little regretful that I didn’t see or do more.

Madrid was special this way. I didn’t feel like I missed out on anything. In fact, I felt like I had actually done and seen and experienced more than I could hope for. By throwing out the plan, I was living my idea of slow travel. As a result, I have amazing memories of people and places.

Lessons Learned

I am far more likely to live in the moment when I travel, but I still bring a lot of my bad habits with me. Grousing about crowds, being irritated by lines, trying to fit too much in; I am guilty of it all. I may never step foot in Madrid again, but I have no regrets about the time I spent there.

Yes, I never did get back to the Prado. There are a number of things I wanted to do that I didn’t get to. Still, when I close my eyes, I can take myself back to the Puerta del Sol and see the giggling trio of girls taking selfies. I can smell the cinnamon of the churros. The sights and sounds and scents of the Plaza Mayor are forever in my memory and are as vibrant as if I were standing there.

Madrid taught me what slow travel should be. I learned to savor the moments; that less really is more when it comes to travel. I may have fewer stops on my trips, but the experience is richer and more satisfying.

Women who travel are wise, kind and passionate. I know, because I am a woman who travels. If you need proof, here are some travel quotes from women who travel. Quotes to inspire, to make you think and to help you act on your own travel dream.

Women Who Travel

I have read one too many articles about how dangerous it is for women who travel, especially those who travel alone. Well meaning people who will tell you not to go out after dark and to eat in your room.

These are people who waste column inches telling us that we are fragile flowers and that awful things are just waiting to happen to us. I want to combat that a bit. So to that end, let me offer these women who traveled – women who weren’t just ahead of their time, but rather transcended time altogether.

Susan Sontag

”I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.”

This travel quote gets at the heart of it all, at least for me.

Writer, photographer, political activist (is there another kind?), Susan Sontag was not a woman who worried about what the world thought of her. Everywhere is on my list too, and I find myself getting irritated with people who ask me to prioritize my next destination. I don’t want to be that limited. Will I see everywhere? Unlikely, but I am going to see as much of everywhere as I can!

Women who travel know that this trip is merely the next trip. We are aiming for everywhere, or at least our version of everywhere.

Isabella Bird

Everything suggests a beyond – walkway in Prague.

“Everything suggests a beyond.” From: A Lady’s Life in the Rocky Mountains

Isabella Bird was a lady traveler in the late 1800’s. She was born in Yorkshire, the daughter of a minister. Ms. Bird was always rather outspoken, a trait not widely admired in women at that time (and often times, still not!). Her travels began in earnest when she was ‘prescribed’ a sea voyage to improve her health. A born writer, she sent letters home, and that was the genesis of her first book.

I love this travel quote for many reasons. It nicely sums up the way I feel whenever I see a sweeping vista, a winding road, a far horizon. “Everything suggests a beyond” and I am forever itching to go find it.

Another thing about Isabella Bird that sings to me; she didn’t start traveling until she was 40. Until that time she stayed pretty close to home. But once she started, she traveled across Asia, the American West and India.

Amelia Earhart

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

Yeah, Amelia Earhart; if ever a woman got the notion of solo travel it was her. And no, let’s not take her disappearance as an object lesson.

As travel quotes go, this one may be the best one you can take to heart. So many women I talk to want to travel, but they let their fears keep them from doing it. Decide to take that trip and then bull through the rest to make it happen.

You will be amazed at what the simple act of taking a trip to that long dreamed of place will do for you – for your world view, for your heart, for your self-confidence. This is the reward for women who travel, we become more fearless, more open-minded, and I think more optimistic.

Freya Stark

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.”

Another British born woman with an itch to journey, Ms. Stark traveled extensively throughout the Middle East and was one of the first non-Arabians to travel through the southern Arabian deserts. Her autobiography bears the wonderful title of “The Passionate Nomad.”

Think about her travels for a moment. What must it t have been like to travel the region not only as a non-Arabian, but as an unmarried woman! London seems a lot less daunting, doesn’t it? In comparison, Paris feels oddly sedate.

And while we’re at it, let’s add another great quote by this amazing woman.

Freya Stark, redux

“One can only really travel if one lets oneself go and takes what every place brings without trying to turn it into a healthy private pattern of one’s own and I suppose that is the difference between travel and tourism.”

This – this is the very essence of being a nomadic local. Expect that the other places are going to be a mix of what you are used to and what is completely different. It can be as minor as what is normal for breakfast, to as exotic as waking to the sound of the call to prayer. Yes, sometimes there is a comfort in finding a McDonald’s on a foreign shore.

More often than not, it is comforting not to.

Maya Angelou

“Travel to as many destinations as possible for the sake of education as well as pleasure.”

If ever a woman was a force of nature, Ms. Angelou was it. I had the great good fortune to see her in person, to shake her hand and that brief moment was transformative for me. Travel has been transformative for me as well.

I agree with the poet when she says that “Human beings are more alike than unlike, and what is true anywhere is true every-where” (which is actually the first half of this quote, though often left off). I think it is discovering the similarities that make the differences less scary. Travel is the surest way to erase prejudice, as you find that we are all looking for the same things.

Women who travel find joy in the learning about new places. The next destination is exciting not just for the monuments and the museums we plan on visiting, but for all the little moments we weren’t expecting.

Travel Quotes

So there you have it. Six travel quotes from five undeniably remarkable women – women who travel. I hope you take inspiration and strength from them. They have helped me in moments when I thought I couldn’t do it. I have been buoyed by them in those dark moments of anxiety.

Do you have a favorite travel quote? Please share it in the comments. Inspiration is always welcome!