Travel anxiety isn’t just sneaky, it actively kills dreams.  Seems pretty dire, doesn’t it? Like it is this mythical beast wielding a sword, ready to strike down your dream of Paris or London or Buenos Aires – or wherever.

I hear this sort of thing a lot from women. The sentence always begins with “I’ve always wanted to go to…. and ends with but I’m afraid of….”

It is the second set of dots that are the trip us up because we fill them in with phrases that make us anxious. We list out all the things that scare us, everything that gets our hearts racing.

All the things on that list have one thing in common, they are all  just ways of saying “I’m afraid something bad will happen.”

You’re Not Alone!

I understand travel anxiety. I clearly remember my first trip – that wonderful trip to London. My flight left San Diego at 10:35pm, connecting through JFK.

Honestly? I nearly didn’t get on that plane. I paced the hallways of the San Diego Airport for nearly an hour because I couldn’t sit down. I called my brother – twice – to keep myself calm.

When I got to JFK, I nearly broke down in tears

Getting to the Roots of Travel Anxiety

Anxiety tends to creep in when we are faced with the unknown. It makes sense that we would get anxious about going to a foreign country! The currency is different. People speak a different language. The food is different. Besides, we’ve never been there, so everything is going to be strange!

It is small wonder that so many of us battle some form of travel anxiety. I still battle it, and the more ‘new things’ to contend with, the more I run into it.

What If?

Some of us start going through the what ifs.

What if the hotel is awful, or they lose my reservation or are overbooked?

What if I get lost or sick or injured?

What if my luggage is lost, or my flight is cancelled or the plane crashes?

Not only do the possibilities play out in your head, they escalate. The cycle starts with something as benign as lost luggage and ends in a fiery crash.

Next thing you know, that wonderful trip to that wonderful place is put back in the box, because what if has made it untenable. We’ve gone from what if my luggage gets lost to what if I die in a fiery crash.

Problems vs. Crises

There are a lot of statistics to soothe our travel anxiety. Bags getting lost are rare (even though it doesn’t feel that way sometimes). Plane crashes are even more rare. Crime in tourist areas of most major tourist destinations is generally petty crime, and even then, rare!

Sounds great, but it doesn’t help. We have taken a problem – what if I lose my luggage (or something similarly small) and turned it into a crisis –  what if the plane crashes! (or something similarly large). Once we are in crisis mode, all bets are off.

This is a useful distinction – at least for me. I can solve a problem. A crisis is a whole other matter – it generally means we are in some sort of imminent danger.

There will be problems that arise when you travel. It is inevitable. I can’t promise you nothing will go wrong. You will forget the toothpaste, you might turn down a wrong road. and you could discover that the pictures on the hotel website are markedly nicer than the room you are presented with.

All of these are problems that are easily solved; you can get toothpaste, you can pull out a map, you can ask for a different room (or go to a different hotel).

Rarely are you going to be in a true crisis situation, and if you are, there will be people to help.

Tools to Help

I ask the question “is this a crisis or a problem,” which sounds simple, but it is a huge help. I define crisis as someone’s life is in real and imminent danger. This is something I learned from my brother who wrote a blog about fighting anxiety

Unpack what’s causing you to ramp up. I am not a great flyer; I know this. Every single time I take a trip, I start ‘what if-ing’ about plane crash scenarios. If I look at what is really making me anxious, it is just that very primal anxiety around going somewhere new.

Live in the moment rather than out in the future. Spending lots of time creating worst-case scenarios of things that might happen at some indefinite point in the future is going to kill your trip before it ever starts.

Avoid the Negative

Take a news vacation; limit the amount of time you spend listening to news reports – especially ones about wherever you are going. Be informed without being overloaded.

Seek out people who have been where you are going and ask for advice on what to see and do. Being armed with a few insider tips makes the place seem less daunting. Not only will it help relieve your fears, you will build the excitement about the trip.

Steer clear of the naysayers and the folks who are thrilled to tell you that their best friend’s cousin’s girlfriend’s hairdresser went to the exact same place you’re going, and lost a limb in the process.

For severe anxiety, talk to a therapist; seek out professional help to unpack the anxiety and find the tools that will help you cope.

Breathe

I get that it can be scary. Travel anxiety is a sneaky bastard; it is one of the minions of the comfort zone. A sneaky demon that wants very much to keep you from seeing the world. Know that a lot of seasoned travelers have fought it and even still fight it; if you fight it head on, it will get easier over time. So breathe in and out, then do it again. Keep doing that until you find yourself in that city you’ve always wanted to see.

I promise you, the battle is well worth the rewards.